soggycherry

I had a bite of this soup dumpling. Pork and cabbage. Little did I know it wasn’t soup. It was anxiety boiling up within a sheet of silence that is creasing under the heat. Today is the day.

This restaurant near Eastwood train station is humming with couples in their thirties with their kids. They want to pass on their culture to their third gen immigrants, I get it. I used to be an immigrant too. I came to Australia when I was thirty, with Ben. I worked very hard as an accountant. I also learned the Australian language by watching Parliamentary debates.

“That this House do now adjourn!” says me whenever Ben wanted something from me. A cry and a growl would follow. I don’t have the energy to care. I have a job, a child, two kidneys and no man. Not that a man would make things easier. I would, however, appreciate an occasional trash taker.

Ben’s teacher called me last month. They said Ben has been eating his fingers a lot in class. Apparently Ben has also been brushing his penis with his paint brush and sometimes make his neighbour Michael do the brushing for him. No wonder the crotch of his pants has been so, um, artful. Every boy goes through that curious phase. That does not mean he is gay. I remember sticking a bamboo cane, with which I was often hit, up my mum’s ass.

But Mr Dawes called me again today. Apparently the problem wasn’t his sexuality but his anxiety. Ben chewed his pinky so hard it almost turned into mush. Me Dawes also said Ben got a 95 out of a 100 in his English test, but expressed concerned about his perfectionist tendencies.

Well that sounds problematic.

I have decided today would be the day I ask little Ben, “how are you?” It’s the most Australian thing to ask yet I’ve done it to Ben.

I wanted to say it before we have dumplings. The words were stuck in my throat.

I wanted to say it while I poured him tea. The words were stuck in my week old stool.

“How are you?” I finally said it while the soup and the flavours flood in my mouth so my speech could come out garbled.

I really wanted to know is going on in Benny’s mind. It’s out of character for him to get a 95.